Does True Love Exist?

Heyy my dear people 😊. So, I did promise you awhile back, in the blog Exciting yet Uncertain Phase of Life that I’d tell you how I encountered Jesus’ love in a very dark time of my life. Praise Jesus I’m new!

All along in my relationship with God, I’ve always told Him that I love Love, romance (and that I need to find True Love). I’ve come to discover that I’m a romantic by heart 😊. However, I was not always this ‘mushy mushy’.

I used to think that I’m not soft at heart but that I’m tough especially since I only have brothers so naturally I’d feel like I’m the toughest girl there is. Soo not emotional right? Anyway, after I decided to go hard after God (shared this in About section) where I was crying out to God to encounter His love (this has always been the cry of my heart). But I had no idea what I was asking for.

My world changed in 2015 during my second year in college…. I have a really close friend, Sarah, who’s my roommate – love her 🙂 ! Apparently, there was a misunderstanding on my side where I thought she saw me as her best friend (bff) because we’d do everything together. However, during this time her bff started visiting her a lot and I started getting jealous (seems petty but this was serious). Because of this jealousy and being upset that she didn’t see me as her best friend, I started getting sick physically and mentally. I would literally throw up whenever her bff visited us (yeah it was that bad) and I couldn’t concentrate on school despite having exams around the corner (so not me). No one could understand why I was getting so sick, not even me because this has never ever happened to me before.

During this time, I decided to distance myself from my close friends in an effort to protect my heart and keep my sanity. I stopped being friendly to her or her bff. I was planning to just lock everyone out (but God wouldn’t have any of that). I almost plummeted into depression. My outlook on life changed – I became negative, highly critical of myself, pushed myself harder than before and would get depressed when I didn’t match up. My heart was literally torn wide open – I was bleeding on the inside. I was ripped up inside. It was a really gruesome time of my life (worse than being heart-broken by a crush).

But Jesus came to the rescue (as He always does). God, my sweet God, lead me to Song of Solomon and I decided to study the book. I have never given this book much thought because it seemed too figurative and I never could understand it but I was gasping for air; I needed to survive this because I had no idea what was going on. Through the book, God would encourage me gently yet sternly to be kind to her. So, I tried my best even though this was the last thing I wanted to do because I thought that I needed to protect my heart from being hurt continuously. Instead, God told me that He’ll protect my heart and that it’s not my duty put a ‘fence’ around my heart (which is totally different from guarding your heart – this is not done out of hate, jealousy or insecurities). He told me to open to Him (Song of Solomon 5:2) because when I put ‘a fence around my heart’ I was preventing Him from coming in and having His way in my life. I slowly yielded until the point where God told me to apologise to her bff for not being cordial when she visited us. I wrestled with this for days while talking to Sarah about it (yes God ensured I talked with her throughout the entire process – Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another so that you may be healed – James 5:16). But little did I know that I really was being healed. I spent hours reading Song of Solomon while allowing God to speak to my heart, confessing what the Bible says about me as God’s child. It was then I realised that God really was (and still is) indeed my best friend and that I don’t need a human best friend because I used to always wonder why others had a bff except me.

Eventually I totally surrendered to God and called her bff and apologised to her. She took it well thank God. When she visited us, I would be kind to her – I would cook for her, chat with her etc. Yes! This was when my heart was completely healed of feelings of jealousy, insecurities, fear of being heart-broken by anyone else, depression. Months after, my physical body would still react negatively when I heard her name or if she visited. But I held unto the fact that I am healed emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Yes, I fought for my healing in the coming months and eventually, I had no more negative feelings towards her or her bff. Hallelujah I was free😊! My relationship with God was revolutionised. It was then, I started hearing more of God’s voice and spent more time in prayer, worship and fellowship with Him. So, now our relationship was indeed sweet fellowship instead of Him being a God that’s a far off.

Two years after this (few months ago), while having my devotion, I encountered Jesus’ love to a deeper dimension. I can’t fully explain it but it was then and there I realised that He is indeed my First Love. I realised that no guy could make me feel loved like how Jesus does. We do everything together – He is always with me – in my darkest moments, in my happiest moments, in my ok moments. He has always been there comforting, encouraging and cheering me on even when no one else believed in me, speaking life into me even when I felt like the worst. I cried tears of joy for hours as I realised that no human being could do this for me. No human being can love me like Jesus does. I have always longed to meet my Prince Charming when He was right there all along. #I’mforevergratefultoHim

So, True Love does indeed exist. I pray that as you read this that you’d encounter Jesus in a way that you’ve never encountered Him before. I pray that you’d grasp how high, wide and deep His love is for you and that nothing will be able to separate you from His love. If you’ve not given and completely surrendered your entire life to Him, I pray that in this moment you’d realise that there’s nothing out there in the world that can satisfy you like His love can. You may have been seeking for True Love for a while but this is where you’ll find Trrue Love – in Jesus.

Yes, my friends, True Love does indeed exist because it transformed me and has made me who I am today 😊. Join me in this pursuit after His heart.

#satisfiedinJesus #filledwithjoypeace #I’minlovewithJesus! #He’sinlovewithme!

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” – James 5:16

“I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” – Song of Solomon 5:2

“So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” – John 8:36

Musical Inspiration Gracious Tempest by Hillsong Young & Free

 

P.s. Names were changed to protect the privacy of individuals.